the greatest of these is love

GEESH!

j/k. so, the excuse is that my computer at home won't let me log in to blogger b/c cookies aren't enabled or anything. i found this out on a night that i didn't really feel like figuring out how to enable them, didn't want to mess with the virus protection software, etc. then i never wanted to do that. sorry!

so, Christmas was good. the most simple Christmas we have ever had, especially regarding gifts, i think. my parents and i got to go to church together, which was really nice. i got to play my flute during the Christmas Eve service, which i love...i wanna play more.

i read a book. it's called flashBANG by Mark Steele. subtitled "How I Got Over Myself." it was pretty good. i learned that a flashbang is something that is used by our military that looks like a grenade, and when it goes off, the lights and sounds are there, but there is no crater. and Steele compared that to his life. and i think i can relate. how many of my words and actions create all of the sounds and lights, but it's just a show, there's usually not a crater or teethmarks (that was another chapter of his book) left. it was a good perspective check.

and i got a whole bunch of books for Christmas, and gift cards to Barnes and Noble, which i've spent already getting more books that i want to read.

one has been especially amazing thus far. it's a daily devotional book, a compilation of encouraging stories from American missionaries serving all over the world. my parents got it for me. i didn't know it existed. not only are the stories in the book encouraging, it's also amazing that my parents got it for me without me asking. maybe they're starting to accept this thing...

which brings me to my major freaking out point from the break so far - what the crack am i gonna do next summer? i want to be kinda close to my family, as it's possibly the last summer possible for that. but i had lunch with Ashleigh in Quincy, and she had pictures from Africa and Rome. it made me want to go...somewhere, anywhere. Ash also pointed out that it would make sense for me to stay home, if building and upkeeping relationships there if that was where i was going to live for the rest of my life. but it's really not. the internship to Thailand teaches a lot (every day, i think!), and they speak Spanish in Chile. the daycare job is mine in Hamilton, if i want it, and i can definitely stay here and work in Springfield. so many options. i'm so confused.

i told some amazing brothers and a sister about this plight, and one responded that he didn't really know what to tell us (because the other three of us were talking about our summers...), but the only advice he had was: "Don't let pursuing your summer distract you from pursuing today."

ouch (that good kind of ouch, you know?)

so now, i'm trying my hardest to pursue today with all of my heart, soul, mind and strength. it's not like i don't have enough going on. it is break, but two of my best friends are getting married (wow, tomorrow HJo!!!), and i get the joy of sharing in those events. i'm still trying to figure out what my role as "assistant" and "maid of honor" entail. i think the most important one is something i've been struggling with for awhile - prayer.

so, if you could keep these things in your prayers, and pray for me that i would catch a glimpse of what this intercessory prayer thing is all about, that'd be great. there might be a whole post somewhere in my head about intercessory prayer, but since i've written a book and a half already, i'll keep it up there for awhile, revising it, chewing on it. praying about it? there's a concept...

peace