Sunday, January 29, 2006
it's harder this time
i don't know why, but it is. it's harder to take this leap of faith and say for sure that i want to go to Thailand. but i do want to go to Thailand. really bad. my dad said the other day, "but erin, it'll be an entirely different culture, one you've never encountered before." and i said "and that EXCITES me, dad!"
it does. i want to encounter people who are entirely different from me. i want to go and learn from the missionaries there. learn how to teach in a different culture. learn how to teach kids who have an entirely different perspective than i could ever imagine. encounter God in new and exciting ways. ones i could never imagine.
it's harder to jump this time. it was hard to jump into Russia, don't get me wrong. and i don't know why it would be harder this time. i think i'm trying to be more cautious. i'm trying to have everything figured out instead of completely trusting Him. also, when Russia came along, i had the security of people telling me over and over that this is something i should do.
God kept telling me, but it was comforting to hear it from my brothers and sisters.
now, i don't want you guys to suddenly be all about telling me that i should go to Thailand. that's not what this is about. i think it's about taking the leap.
there were two reasons i was going to stay home this summer - my friend and money. (always money). the friend issue has become less and less of a burden on my heart. i honestly think that she will be taken care of, and i think it could be an issue of trust on my part to trust that God will take care of her and it's not about me being here for her.
and the money thing was completely taken care of. my parents are amazing, we'll just say. i don't understand it, but God used my parents, the ones who are probably most against me going to Thailand (mostly because it confirms the fact that i won't be going back to Hamilton after i graduate) to take away one of the main reasons for staying here.
so, i don't know.
i say that a lot. i think another reason i wanted to stay home was to please people. again, my parents mostly. and the rest of my family.
i think i'm doing it. i'm going to take the leap. God has opened up the doors and broken down the reasons why i would stay. so why not go?
today my goals are: fold the laundry that i started on Thursday (it's Sunday...); clean my room (it's a disaster); do some homework (mostly reading); fill out a scholarship application; fill out the paperwork for going to Thailand; draft a support-raising letter. that's kind of a lot, especially since i haven't been highly motivated lately. but maybe, just maybe, if i publish this online, it'll give me the oomph i need.
it does. i want to encounter people who are entirely different from me. i want to go and learn from the missionaries there. learn how to teach in a different culture. learn how to teach kids who have an entirely different perspective than i could ever imagine. encounter God in new and exciting ways. ones i could never imagine.
it's harder to jump this time. it was hard to jump into Russia, don't get me wrong. and i don't know why it would be harder this time. i think i'm trying to be more cautious. i'm trying to have everything figured out instead of completely trusting Him. also, when Russia came along, i had the security of people telling me over and over that this is something i should do.
God kept telling me, but it was comforting to hear it from my brothers and sisters.
now, i don't want you guys to suddenly be all about telling me that i should go to Thailand. that's not what this is about. i think it's about taking the leap.
there were two reasons i was going to stay home this summer - my friend and money. (always money). the friend issue has become less and less of a burden on my heart. i honestly think that she will be taken care of, and i think it could be an issue of trust on my part to trust that God will take care of her and it's not about me being here for her.
and the money thing was completely taken care of. my parents are amazing, we'll just say. i don't understand it, but God used my parents, the ones who are probably most against me going to Thailand (mostly because it confirms the fact that i won't be going back to Hamilton after i graduate) to take away one of the main reasons for staying here.
so, i don't know.
i say that a lot. i think another reason i wanted to stay home was to please people. again, my parents mostly. and the rest of my family.
i think i'm doing it. i'm going to take the leap. God has opened up the doors and broken down the reasons why i would stay. so why not go?
today my goals are: fold the laundry that i started on Thursday (it's Sunday...); clean my room (it's a disaster); do some homework (mostly reading); fill out a scholarship application; fill out the paperwork for going to Thailand; draft a support-raising letter. that's kind of a lot, especially since i haven't been highly motivated lately. but maybe, just maybe, if i publish this online, it'll give me the oomph i need.
// posted by erinlizabeth @ 1:39 PM 
