the greatest of these is love

i'm easily impressionable, so cool sayings like "i'm not gonna lie" and "i'm just sayin" and "you're ruining my life!" are going to rub off on me. i'm just sayin. :)

ok, so seriously, i wanted to post on something i learned at Focus tonight. once again, i should be going to sleep instead of posting, but i don't want to forget this lesson, and it's easier for me to type than it is to write (as in my journal).

the guy was talking about the word Yahweh (i don't know the guy's name, and he said he got this part of the lesson from Rob Bell anyway....), and the Hebrew letters that form the word. he didn't really know what they were, how they sounded, or anything like that, but Rob Bell had this theory that it could be the sound of breath. period. just the sound of breath. so, if his theory is true, then every time we breathe, we are uttering a Name of our Lord.

sitting in the chapel tonight, i was thinking that i wanted my breaths to sound like a Name of God. i don't know if it's allowed to give God a Name, and i don't really think it's possible for every time i exhale to be thinking "wow, that's God's Name," but it's pretty neat to think that the entire time i sleep, i'm uttering a Name of God.

so even if it's not, even if the Hebrew word for Yahweh is completely different from the sound of a breath - gutteral, deep, and resounding, i decided that i wanted to live like that anyway. to constantly be thinking about God, no matter what. for my thoughts, words, and actions to constantly proclaim the Name of God and to be worthy of that Name.

in a world full of distractions, that's hard.

on a kind of different topic, there's this song that i've been listening to and thinking about a lot lately. it goes along with the whole slipping back into who i used to be while i was at home, and slowly remembering how to walk surrounded by this amazing community God has built here. it's pretty good, i guess:

thoughts of You
and how You changed me
fill my mind
without You
where would i be?

so even though i've tried
to express my thanks
it never comes out how i hoped
i want to say so much more
so with these simple words,
i'll try

i love You
my heart is Yours
only Yours
i long to give you all of me
my everything
my everything

God i never could repay You
You gave everything
without You
where would i be?

You still loved me
even when i
pushed You away
You stood there and waited
till the day i'd return

~"Thoughts of You" BarlowGirl

peace