the greatest of these is love

The time has come to say goodbye to the family that God has placed me in for two months. Tomorrow afternoonish, we’ll be leaving the hostel to make that bumpy trek through the jungle/mountains one last time on our way to Chiang Mai. I have a feeling that the goodbye is not going to be very dry…I get pretty attached to people pretty quick, and the same applies to kids that I can barely have conversations with. Their smiles, laughter, joy, service and (what few I can understand) words have been a huge way God has taught me this summer, and ways I won’t soon forget.
Even though I don’t want to leave, I can’t wait to get home. Even today, Corey, an amazing girl at NMS that’s meeting at the airport on Monday, left a comment on our team update blog and said that she’s looking forward to a huge hug from me – that gets me so excited, even to see the family that God has placed me in there and to hear about how God has worked all over the world this summer. As was the case last year, there are a few ladies that I really bonded with at PFO, and I’m so excited to see how God has moved in and through them these past two months.
And I’m excited to get home. To see the baby that I’ve fallen in love with (Gracie was born on July 5th!), despite thousands of miles of distance, and to see my family and share this experience with them (finally!). My mom has stuff planned, like taking my grandma out for a day, some time at the barn with my friends, a baby shower (for the baby, duh!), and just a whole bunch of other stuff, as well as (I hope!) some down, chill time in my house (*sigh* an air-conditioned house with carpet and soft couches and a bathroom that I don’t have to check for bugs in…).
Some huge lessons from this summer come from living in community and from listening to those around me. Ever since PFO, God has been pounding the concept of surrender into my head, and I feel like I’m beginning to understand it a little more, day by day. I know that there’s still stuff that I’m hanging on to, I’ve just hung on for so long and so tight that it’s hard to pry my fingers away.
I’ve learned this summer that I’m pretty stubborn when it comes to some things. I’ve also learned that I need to be challenged. We had some reflection time with the team yesterday, and that’s one of the things I realized. Looking over the summer, especially in the case of playing my guitar, I realized that I didn’t step up nearly as much as I could of, or even should of. So one of the things that I said I would change in my life during our time yesterday was to ask for people to challenge me in areas where they think I am lacking or need to step up in or anything, really. So here it is, for all the world to see, and I’ll definitely be asking you all individually, as well.
Living in community this summer has made me so excited to get back to the one that God is building at UIS. I can’t wait to get back together with my brothers and sisters there and see what God is doing in their lives (and my sister at Eastern – Heather Mae, name the place, and we’ll figure out a time – I’m totally there, I wanna hear all about your summer, too!), and has done in their lives over these past few months. I just know that it’s going to be an amazing year, and I feel like God is planning amazing stuff for all of us, if we’re willing to listen to His voice and obey.
Obedience – another lesson. To do what I’m told. I’ve been hit hard with the fact that a lot of times I hear God’s voice, but I totally ignore it because He’s calling me to do something that is hard or uncomfortable. But I know that, in the end, it will work out for the good and eventually build others (and myself) up.
Ok, so I should probably wrap this up. A little birdie told me that we’re having a barbecue tonight. I already packed (I know, right?), so I don’t need to worry about that…just getting up and showering tomorrow and stuffing the rest of my stuff in the few cracks and crannies that are left. I can’t believe that our time here is basically up. I’m definitely excited to live up these last 24 hours or so in Thailand, and I’m excited to see what God does to bless us all and give us joy in each others’ company. Some of the kids have already asked if we’re coming back again – and told us “Mama, you go to America, I cry.” (btw, mama means teacher…you can all breathe again *smiles*). Friends, kids cry, I cry.
It’s gonna be a tough one. But it’s exciting all the same, because if it weren’t hard, that’d mean that the summer as a whole would’ve been way harder because we wouldn’t have gotten as close to the kids, the missionaries, or each other. If it didn’t affect me at all that I’m leaving this place to possibly never return, I’d be way more worried than I am about bawling my eyes out tomorrow.
Ok, really guys, gotta go. Love you all and talk to you seen and see you way soon! I’ll have my phone in Florida, but it’ll be roaming, so if you call me, I’ll probably call you back on someone else’s phone. Otherwise, I’ll be back in Illinois very, very late Thursday night (or very, very, very early Friday morning…like midnight, oneish…I really have no idea).