the greatest of these is love

this whole posting a lot thing, and this will probably just be real quick

so, the last couple weeks we were in Thailand, i felt really torn. really, really torn. especially after a certain cutest-baby-in-the-whole-world-ever was born on July 5th. and i was 8000 miles away from my family and the baby that i'd fallen in love with despite all that distance. not to mention that i missed my community here and all of the relationships in Springfield.

i really didn't think it could get any worse. i figured that once i left Thailand, all would be well - i'd get to hold Gracie, see my family, talk to John, my girls, and see them all within a couple weeks of returning. it'd be great - i was so looking forward to it.

now, it's Friday night and a group of people that i love a whole lot from this community in Springfield are going to Indiana in the morning, and John and David are just going to get back tomorrow night - so close to all being reunited, and yet so far away. also, that group going to Indiana are going to get to hang out with some pretty stinkin' cool missionaries that live in Florida (and i'm not just talking about Heather and Matt - also Phil and Corey and i don't even know who else for sure will be there from NMSI), who, over the past two summers of PFOs and debriefs and being in foreign countries with them have caused them to be a very real part of my family as well.

two huge parts of my world are colliding (not even for the first time - they did in Russia, too, but it doesn't make it any easier), and i won't even be there for the collision.

TORN

and i didn't account for the fact that i would miss the people who became my family in Thailand and are still there.

i've said it before, and i'll say it again - it's a blessing and a curse to have so many close friends who are all over the world all the time. you miss them terribly, but at the same time you know that you get to look forward to an eternity with them, but it's so hard to have that perspective all the time.

the Body. the Body of Christ - God is continually blowing me away with the vastness of His Body on Earth. with how connected He can make us, no matter what the time frame, no matter what the situation - as long as we have Christ as our common bond, then we'll stick together better than we would with super glue. bonds are fast and deep and lasting when Christ is at the center, and it's something i look forward to, and something that i dread. i know that it will hurt when i leave, and part of my heart will stay with those people.

but i know it's nothing to how God Himself feels - how torn must He feel, with His Body, His children spread all throughout this earth, and His desire is to be reunited with us. i long for the day that we can all be together at last, but still i know my work here is not done.

i've had this song in my head lately:

i just wanna be with You
i just want this waiting to be over
i just wanna be with You
and it helps to know the day is getting closer
every minute takes an hour
every inch feels like a mile
till i won't have to imagine
and i'll finally get to see You smile

*sigh*

along with all of this, i'm still super excited about tomorrow. i think the closest description i can get to is a little kid at Christmas. i don't know how well i'm going to be able to sleep tonight, and Myrtle isn't even pulling in until tomorrow night at some unknown hour.

peace *smiles!*